Maybe I should just flood my Tumblr with Dance Gavin Dance/Emarosa/Isles and Glacier/MOD SUN feat JC/ Woe Is Me feat JC/Vic+Jonny/Jonny Craig Stuff for a while. I mean he already consumes up every other part of my life, why not this part?
That’s it, I’m doing it, I’m making it to my ideal weight, before prom! For once I want to wear a dress and feel beautiful instead of wearing a dress and feeling ashamed by how I look. For once I want someone to tell me that I look pretty and not just say it because they think they should but because they mean it. For once I want to wear some thing, look in the mirror and say, I look amazing and not worry for the rest of the day whether or not I was delusional and I actually look horrible.
I’ve planned it out so that by February 29, 2012, exactly 8 months from now I should be around my goal weight. This is assuming that I’m active everyday and losing around a pound a week which is totally healthy, I asked. I would really love some support and I will be posting inspirational pictures to try and inspire myself since I will be doing this basically by myself. Thanks for always being there followers and always listening.
So I went to the gym with my dad today and it was an interesting experience there were a ton of people there whos appearences ranged from super in shape to overweight which was interesting but something that made me unxomfortable wasthe lack of people my age. I mean I shouldn’t be that surprised since most people my age just go outside and do sports Nd that’s enough for then but unfortunately do me I don’t have that luxury. My metabolism is slow as fuck and I really need to vet inshape for my homecoming. Plus I would really like to look at myself in the mirror without thinking that I need to lose weight, but I giess that’s kind of a personal thing huh…
I just want you to know that you creep into my thoughts everyday, and no matter how hard I try I just can’t let go of the perfect idea of you that I’ve created in my head. I know that we hardly ever talked and I never told you how I felt but regardless of all the reasons that you shouldn’t be engrained in my brain I continue to think about you, dream about you. Why can’t you just leave me alone? Why can’t I let go of you?